getsby:

"ur bra strap is showing" u say

children begin to scream

tears r streaming down my face

my parents disown me and sell me to a shady, moustached man for three goats

no one can ever kno i wear a bra

darning-socks:

"Oh my GOD Carl I am so done with you.”

fluent-in-lesbianism:

bellezza98ceilo:

space-sailor:

pinkkryptonite:

fluent-in-lesbianism:

MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING ON THIS SITE.

daaaang lol

sooo you both get burned in the end

you did NOT
you just

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF MY MOTHER IN THAT TONE OF PUN

chronicallycrotchety:

grandmasterbooty:

pussylipgloss:

d0gbl0g:

he went

the dog trust him

great trust exercises for when i get a puppy

too cute

chronicallycrotchety:

grandmasterbooty:

pussylipgloss:

d0gbl0g:

he went

the dog trust him

great trust exercises for when i get a puppy

too cute

waywardsonapocalypse:

godstiels-fallen-dragon:

familyfriendlyporno:

brookeeverdeen:

DAD JOKE

well at the end of the movie it really was just hazel

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SOGGY LAMP HOW COULD YOU

you soggy lamp

charlie-in-a-beanie:

dutchnorkat:

skankmcmeow:

I see your shifting gaze, that disgusted glance. I know you’re questioning my parenting from across the elementary school assembly.

Let me tell you a little story about the kindergarten student with bright purple hair, my little Raven Marie…

A month before school started she decided to play hair stylist with the craft scissors, and to save what was left I had to opt for a pixie cut. She was absolutely devastated. It was about three hours before she stopped her harsh sobbing and hiccups.

Why?

She has thought that the length of a girls hair was what made her “girly”. I know I’ve personally had many hairstyles around her before, including a purple mohawk, which many people criticized as not being “girly” enough. Media, other children, other parents, and society made it worse. She would randomly burst in tears while out in public for the first week of her new style, screaming that she looked like a boy. That everyone would think she’s a boy.

At one point she took off her bow in her hair, threw it at a cashier and screamed, “I DON’T NEED THIS BOW TO TELL YOU THAT I’M NOT A BOY, BECAUSE I’M NOT”

Proudly stomping away in her blue jean overalls, head held high.

Once we edged closer to the first day of school she kept asking questions like, “Do you think the other kids will like me? Do you think they’ll be my friend? Will they think I’m a boy? Will they pick on me because I have boy hair?”

So I went to the grocery store, bought some dye, and spent the whole night transforming my bright blonde little girl into a plum punk rock fairy. I then assured her that if any of the kids didn’t like her, they were just jealous.

As for you, mothers and teachers with the wandering eyes filled with disgust and judgement, I’m in the business of raising a free spirit.

Here’s to you, Raven Marie. I love you.

SHE’S THE CUTEST OHMAHGOD CAN I HUG HER

I want that hair